HEAL ZENY ITEMS PLEASE
by aRAUCANA
Summary: Ragnarok Online drabbles, mostly crack
1. HEAL ZNY ITEMZ PLZ

Disclaimer: Gravity hates me

Chapter One: HEAL ZENY ITEMS PLZZ

* * *

He sat in front of his monitor is his dark, brightly lit, open-spaced corner laughing maniac-ishly. His Sakray had FINALLY FINISHED PATCHING. HE COULD PWN THE WORLD NOW! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA- nevermind, he still needed to install the client. 

Four and a half hours later, he was at last, ready to PWN ALL OF RUNE MIDGARD. Complete with the character name he had slaved over: D43THmAsTA#!

_What starting stats would you like your character to have?_

Hmm, he remembered some guide that said assasins needed a lot of strength...luck, and of course agility.

"DAMN J00, Y WONT U LET ME CHUSE STR LUK AGI DEX OMFGEE" he cried out in frustration, tearing his hair out. In th end he settled for Luk/Dex/Agi, he could reset later.

Logging on his new novice, he chose to skip the training and go straight to Prontera- the server's default city. He decided to ask someone to help him first, leveling his damn novice would take so FREAKING LONG. He had a **_life_**. Taking a breath, he decided to be brave and ask some shiny Lord Knight for assistance.

" !D43THmAsTA# : LOLZ culd sum1 halp me?"

Ignored. Well, he walked a little to the left to ask a different group of people. The Lord Knight was probably AFK.

"!D43THmAsTA# : LOLZ culd sum1 giv me a tank?"

It seems that the people on this server weren't really active... He decided that maybe he could ask someone in the weapon shop, whoever was in there had enough to buy weapons anyway.

" !D43THmAsTA# : LOLZ culd u giv me a weapon?"

Ok, so there wasn't anyone in the weapon shop. What a waste of time. Feeling discouraged he went back out into Prontera Square.

" D43THmAsTA# : LOLZ CAN SUM1 GIV ME Z?"

SUCESS! A reply!

"uraharaKisuke : Hey r u gonna woe today"  
"DarkAngel: Nah, my guild isn't on... I think I'll go for hire or something"  
"uraharaKisuke : lolz woe wit me XDwe need a prist"  
"DarkAngel : Haha, ok "

Or not. Still ignored and near the end of his patience, he decided to go kill some innocent porings.

* * *

A/N: Oh em gee... a parody! 


	2. King Arthur

Chapter Two: King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table

Summary: Just because you're a shiny reborn character doesn't mean you're not a n00b.

Disclaimer: I wish

* * *

Just ONE more Loli Ruri mob..ONE MORE, then he'd finally be 99! Then he could, at last, make his guild. 

"Shit," he cursed. Why did he have to die now? Just .01 percent more! Feeling depressed, he messaged his girlfriend.

To Laydee SinX: TT i died!  
From Laydee SinX: lolol u loser  
To Laydee SinX: ./omg  
From Laydee SinX: aw s'ok jus warp bak ur a high priest...heaL!  
To Laydee SinX: haha xD almost 99...hold on To Laydee SinX: 99!  
From Laydee SinX: yay r u making ur guild now?  
To Laydee SinX: yah you'll be the first one i invite xD  
From Laydee SinX: xD  
To Laydee SinX: yeah

Who else could he invite to join his new guild, the Knights of the Round Table? Knights of course, perferably reborn. His goal was to take all of the Prontera castles this War of Emperium. He whispered his friend who had promised to join his guild after he reached 99, their screennames were even made just for this guild!

To SirLancelot: sup man  
From SirLancelot:o 99 yet?  
To SirLancelot: hell yess  
From SirLancelot: xD aiight make your damn guild already i already ditched requiem  
To SirLancelot: we're taking all the pront castles  
From SirLancelot: r you kdding me/ from cookie? yur crazy  
To SirLancelot: s'ok :D we can do it!  
From SirLancelot: with us 2? o n sinx right? damn...3 people for all the castles? oO; 2 maybe  
To SirLancelot: psh ill hav all 12 knights before woe  
From SirLancelot: sure

* * *

Now to recruit every guildless reborn character wandering the streets of Prontera! Blessing ! Hell yes, instant cast now. Increase Agi ! And he was off. 

"King Arthur: hey join my guild"  
"King Arthur: hey join my guild"  
"bLakHeartz: buffs plz"  
"King Arthur: hey join my guild"  
You cannot type the same word/phrase more than three times

...dammit.

"King Arthur: hey join my guild"  
"King Arthur: hey join my guild"  
"King Arthur: hey join my guild"  
"FalLinTeaRz: stop spammin u faggot"  
"King Arthur/sob no buffs for you /an"

* * *

Half an hour until War of Emperium started, and he had finally got ahold of his twelve knights.  
Guildtalk time! 

King Arthur : Alright people.  
King Arthur : oops wrong chat  
King Arthur : Alright people.  
SirLancelot : lol tax me  
Laydee SinX: omg am i the onlee breaker?  
ROTFLMAO: lol the guilds full of lks  
DreamKisser: loll niec sn  
DreamKisser: nice  
ROTFLMAO: yeah better than urs  
DreamKisser: brng it on  
ROTFLMAO: LOLOLOLOL  
FireKnight: yeah y dun we hav ne other classes?  
Shizuka: rawr i get creamhilt/gg  
King Arthur: ok um, listen up knights, we're gonna gather in gonryun  
Aqua Benedicta: im not a knigt... lol  
Aqua Benedicta: ;( i feel left out  
King Arthur: ok then, knights and wizzy  
Aqua Benedicta: ;)  
UVERworld: afk  
King Arthur: wtf?  
Laydee SinX: lol  
King Arthur: who the hell afks during woe?  
95135: lol chill theres like 20mins til woe...tax me ill get it to level three for ya  
SirLancelot: hell no dont be taking away my percents 9  
5135: watch me  
King Arthur: ok um... well meet in Gonryun like 5mins before woe and we'll party k?

* * *

Twenty minutes later, King Arthur was impatiently sitting by the Kafra of Gonryun. Where the hell were his guild members? Ah, what better way to find out then to ask them? 

The War of Emperium has begun !

Screw this.

King Arthur: hey where are you guys?  
Ryuk: lol...where are YOU? we've been sitting here forever oO  
King Arthur: In Gonryun? Are you serious? where the hell are you  
ROTFLMAO: LOL GONRYUN HAHA I TOLD U  
Liszt: fuck are u serious? xD we're all in geffen and partied... get over to pront haha

Was this any way to talk to the guildmaster? Was this any way a knight should talk to his king?

King Arthur: k we're going to get Laz first  
Shizuka: CREAMHILTTttttttt  
King Arthur: no we're getting creamhilt later they have high def  
Shizuka: ppl dun def at the begining of woe u tard  
King Arthur: okok, sheesh. creamhilt then. everyone get to pront castles  
infinitee: buffs plz King Arthur: k go to cream entrance  
Shiki: Cookie is already in there  
King Arthur: damn  
ROTFLAMO: lolol wtf we have 12lk dis is gona be ez  
Aqua Benedicta: 11  
Laydee SinX: omfg spiral pierce u retard  
Sir Lancelot: lol...oh yeah  
Dreamkisser: lolo u suxk  
95135: emp room cleared  
Laydee SinX: im not gona edp yet k?  
infinitee: gogogogogogoogo

Guildbase Creamhilt has been taken by the Knights of the Round Table guild.

King Arthur: yes!  
Laydee SinX: lololol  
King Arthur: ok afk  
FireKnight: wtf didnt he say not to afk?  
Dreamkisser: wtf def we hv 12 plplz we can get lyk all ov pront n ald  
95135: whatd he say?  
UVERworld: hey whatd i miss  
Laydee SinX: he sed defending is ghey  
Shiki: I'm bored here...

* * *

Twenty minutes later, he was still watching the Matrix rerun on television. 

"I think I forgot something," he scratched his head, then shrugged it off.

* * *

Guildbase Honglou has been taken by the Cookie Soldier Syndrome guild.

UVERworld: ok uh where are you guys again  
Liszt: cream...still  
UVERworld: lol wherezat  
95135: afk  
infinitee: pront, closest to where u warp  
UVERworld: k  
Laydee SinX: just click our flag  
Sir Lancelot: this is so gay  
ROTFLMAO: lol ur so gay  
Sir Lancelot: stfu  
Aqua Benedicta: you know... i can handle this castle oO go take rest of pront  
Laydee SinX: we should wait for arthur  
Ryuk: defending is retarded  
DreamKisser: lolz im out gna tek laz aite  
Liszt: yeah wtf im not staying here all woe  
FireKnight: D: i want some action!  
King Arthur: lol hey sorry i was afk for a while  
Shizuka: bufffffffs  
King Arthur: we're gonna defend til 20mins to end of WoE then take rest of pront  
95135: bak  
95135: wtf im not staying here all woe  
95135: see ya  
King Arthur: hey  
DreamKisser: lolz gna b in ald aite  
King Arthur: have you no honor?  
Liszt: lol what. we're gonna take everything  
Aqua Benedicta: this guild is gay im leaving

Aqua Benedicta has left the guild.  
Reason for secession:  
d

King Arthur: omg now we're short one knight  
Sir Lancelot: thats a wizzy  
King Arthur: ugh and we only have 3 of us here

Guildbase Lazrigees has been taken by the Knights of the Round Table guild.  
Guildbase Sbanhealt has been taken by the Knights of the Round Table guild.  
Guildbase Squagul has been taken by the Knights of the Round Table guild.  
Guildbase Guindall has been taken by the Knights of the Round Table guild.

Laydee SinX: damn  
95135: pwn  
King Arthur: oo yeah well... you better keep them  
DreamKisser: lol we tuk dem dun tellme wut 2 dp  
DreamKisser: do  
King Arthur: ok so..thats all of pront?  
Liszt: yah  
King Arthur: k ...so i guess we'll defend the rest of the time

This wasn't going according to his all-defend-then-attack plan, but at least they seized Prontera...

FireKnight: going to payon  
Shizuka: ill stay at laz 9  
5135: ald  
DreamKisser: im goin 2  
ROTFLMAO: YEAH! ALD! ALL OF THEM  
Ryuk: afk  
King Arthur: hey... we want to KEEP Pront...

Ugh, they better keep enough people in the castles to keep all of the Prontera castles...

Guildbase Lazrigees has been taken by the Cookie Soldier Syndrome guild.

Shizuka: shit ill go bak

Guildbase Sbanhealt has been taken by the Aoi Requiem guild.  
Guildbase Squagul has been taken by the Rhapsody guild.  
Guildbase Guindall has been taken by the Winter Sonata guild.

King Arthur: ...  
Laydee SinX: shit winter is coming

Guildbase Creamhilt has been taken by the Winter Sonata guild.

King Arthur: WHEN DID THEY GET IN?  
Sir Lancelot: lol howd that happen dont you have ruwach?  
King Arthur: omfg we're going back

Guildbase Lazrigees has been taken by the Knights of the Round Table guild.

Shizuka: hel yes

Guildbase Creamhilt has been taken by the Knights of the Round Table guild.

War of Emperium has ended!

King Arthur/sigh two castles... ok i guess  
Shizuka: gime my ocas  
King Arthur: lol thats for defending and keeping a castle we already have  
Shizuka: i kept one  
King Arthur: yeah but that was a new one...  
Laydee SinX: omg gtg  
95135: this guild is gay  
King Arthur: k see you guys next woe/heh good job, even though we didnt keep all of pront  
Ryuk: wtf  
UVERworld: ...lol.  
Liszt: fsck dis shit

He logged off, content with the results. It wasn't too bad for a new guild, and they'd kept two castles on their first WoE. Even though one of his knights left him. He'd just have to recruit more later.

Two days later he signed on again. Guild talk time!

King Arthur: hey  
King Arthur: lol oops  
King Arthur: hey  
Laydee SinX: xD  
hey King Arthur: wtf we have 4 people left in our guild?  
95135: 3, im leaving. i jus wanted to tell you i leveled your guild for you x) see its level 8 already  
King Arthur: O.O  
95135: welps, c ya  
King Arthur: O.O

95135 has left the guild.  
Reason for secession:  
ill be takin your castles in woe today

King Arthur: O.O

* * *

A/N: Because I hate defending Oo and we watched some king arthur thing in english and it sucked so badly. damn...this was so long it wasnt really a "drabble" anymore ;... and it took so long cuz thinking up names is so hard oO I always want to use one from people I know... If anyone has screennames they want to donate (and aren't afraid of being made fun of) then by all means :D. 

ugh... and ffnet takes out my brackets and double-exclamation marks sniff


End file.
